Happy Father’s Day to all you decent fathers out there or to those who at least tried and try their best.
I was very fortunate to have a good Dad for over 50+ years. Today actually marks the very first Father’s Day that I don’t have a Dad. My Dad passed away last August.
If given the chance , my Dad and I, would likely have done some things different as both fathers and sons. Although Dad and I got along and even worked well together (heck we even built a house together) we did not connect on an artistic or in the end, a shared world view. This was no fault of my father. He was raised to like cars, machines, and fixing motors. I had a penchant for art, stories, and fantasy type imaginary things. Sci-fi as well.
He just didn’t get it really. What is the purpose of people pretending to fly imaginary spaceships and explore “strange new worlds”? Once he commented on a photo he saw in one of the magazines I owned in my teens. The photo pictured a man holding a large spaceship model in a studio where these movie props were created. His comment was something like “he’s just playing…”. In other words he was fooling around with toys instead of being a real man and doing “man’s work”.
A lot of this is due to different personality types and interests arising in the same family. My dad was raised primarily in his surroundings that featured wood, machines and dirt. In fact his father was more of a farmer and my dad saw farming and ‘rock picking’ as the most laborious and unrewarding work. So he turned to mechanics and found his place there. Similarly, although spending decades of my life holding the light for Dad so he could fix a motor , I instead turned to creativity, art, writing, puppetry, etc.
If I gifted Dad one of my paintings, he in turn, would frame it with the most gawd-awful frame…ah, ….yeah (exasperation). I learned that if I was going to give him art and it needed a frame then that should come with my gift. He just had no sense for that sort of thing. But when it came to fixing things he really, really knew his stuff.
To be fair, my Dad was musical and could play almost any instrument he laid hands on.
The important thing, I guess, is having someone who loves you. Someone who will be a decent parent and take care of you. They don’t have to like the same things as you. If they do then that’s a bonus!
So as I end my written thoughts on Father’s Day I do end it with a wish that I could say Happy Father’s Day to Dad. Or as he would say , *Happy “Fiszhergrr Fahzhergrr Day”.
*A reference, I think, to one of his brothers trying to fake a knowledge of French vocabulary. So glad they never tried to pronounce charcuterie.
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